Pop culture has led us to believe that the city of Las Vegas is the pinnacle of the human party experience.

As a guy who’s happily taken years off his life from several debaucherous trips to Sin City, you won’t hear me argue against that claim.

BUT, Vegas has its flaws, both logistically and financially. With long night clubs in Puerto Vallarta lines (especially for guys) and insanely inflated prices on hotel accommodations and bar covers, Vegas is a city that can only be truly appreciated with industry connections and deep pockets.

Plus, those who’ve never been granted hotel pool party access in Vegas know how suffocating an August afternoon in the desert of Nevada can be. Not ideal.

For those looking for an epic bachelor party packages experience without the headaches and monetary commitment of Vegas, look no further than Puerto Vallarta, the dynamic resort town on Mexico’s picturesque Pacific coast.

It’s only a matter of time before Puerto Vallarta becomes a mainstream party destination that articles like these won’t be necessary, but until then, let me provide a playbook on how to do birthday parties right in Puerto Vallarta.

Birthday Dinner

The initial group dinner is essential in setting the tone for the night.

Everyone’s dolled up in their freshest outfits, the excitement is electric, and it may be the last time the crew is intact before being swallowed up by PV’s thrilling nightlife experience.

A satisfied stomach is necessary before a night of boozing, so why not treat the birthday boy or girl to the very best restaurants PV has to offer (all in close proximity to the clubs).

TINTOQUE

No matter how many specialty cocktails you have at dinner, it is impossible to forget this place.

Culinary rising star Chef Joel Ornelas puts Puerta Vallarta on a plate with a rotating menu of incredible home-grown ingredients paired brilliantly to create unique and delicious dishes.

From the Porkbelly Chicharron in Tomatillo Sauce to Organic Gâtinais French Hen to Classic Tintoque Cheesecake (cultivated in-house), there isn’t one dish on Tintoque’s menu that leaves something to be desired.

But don’t take it from me, check out the 300+ 5-star reviews on TripAdvisor.

CEVICHERIA JUAN TIBURON

Visiting a coastal town like Puerto Vallarta and not eating ceviche is like going to Vegas and not touching a slot machine. It should be a crime.

Cevicheria Juan Tiburon is one of the top-rated restaurants in all the city, offering gourmet dishes for affordable prices in a casual, fun atmosphere.

The Tuna Ceviche and Mediterranean Ceviche are crowd-favorites and you MUST wash them down with a Shrimp and Octopus cocktail. It’s not required, but it should be.

SONORA GRILL PRIME

The top-rated steakhouse in the city, and it’s become so wildly popular that the franchise is expanding in the United States.

Food aside, Sonara is arguably the best place to kick off a night of partying because the venue boasts massive big screen TVs and has a house DJ that keeps the energy high with music and video presentations.

If you need more yet another reason to celebrate a birthday dinner at Sonora Grill, allow TripAdvisor commenter Justin to educate you on his birthday dinner experience:

One of the best overall dining experiences I’ve ever had. Martin was our primary server, and he was professional and kind and very helpful. Santiago was the captain of the team and ensured our meal was perfect! David left no detail untouched and never left us asking for anything. The wagyu I ordered was incredible, the ribeye was perfectly cooked, and the desserts were HUGE and shareable. 10/10 would return here on every visit to PVR.

Nightlife

You’ve come to the right place because you already know we get the best deals on Puerto Vallarta nightlife.

LA SANTA

You cannot mention Puerto Vallarta nightlife without saying La Santa shortly after.

The upscale club has rose to prominence for its massive size (capacity 2,500), lighting system, swimming pool and lounge (yes, you read that correctly), and its ability to attract beautiful people, including several Latin American celebrities.

A booming soundsystem typically plays Top 40, hip hop, and Spanish rock.

Make sure you dress to impress, because La Santa staff won’t hesitate to turn you away for looking like a scrub.

LA VAQUITA

If you’re looking to rage without being required to dress for the red carpet, La Vaquita is the play.

Loud music, cheap drinks, no dress code. If La Santa is Dom Perignon, La Vaquita is a shot of well alcohol straight from the bottle. Both can be fulfilling, just depends what kind of night you’re after.

STRANA

A true religious experience. The club features cathedral-esque architecture so you can atone for all your sins during the night in one of PV’s most exclusive clubs.

One reviewer accurately compared the world-class lighting atmosphere to the famed Omnia in Las Vegas while others praised the club for its exceptional service and diligent staff.

The club has a dress code—no flip flops or shorts–but this is a small price to pay for what’s guaranteed to be a night to remember. Or forget. Both have their benefits.